Anyone who knows me knows that my children are my whole world. And when they go off to different activities with friends of mine, I trust that they will be okay. That no hurt, harm, or danger will come to them while they are out. That they will return to me safe and sound, exactly like they were when they left home.
I am sure that the same goes Tameka Foster and Usher in regards to their children.
When I first read the news of the lake accident involving Kile Glover, the son of Tameka Foster and stepson of recording artist Usher, my heart ached for them. When it was later announced that Kile has been declared brain dead and the Jet Ski that hit him was possibly operated by a family friend, my heart crumbled.
The more I envisioned the family in the hospital saddened, shocked, and devastated beyond anything imaginable, it made me ponder these questions:
If a friend of mine did something to one of my children so extreme—something where the chances of it being irreversible were very low and permanent very high—would I be able to forgive them even though it was an accident? I mean 100% forgive? Could I continue on being friends with the person and having them a part of my life without ever holding any anger towards them? Even though I’ll never forget, could I never mention the accident anymore to that person and cease all blame?
The saying goes that if you recall an incident in your mind and those thoughts lead you to feelings of anger, it is a clear indication that you have not fully forgiven the person responsible for it. But isn’t it only natural for feelings of anger to arise at the thought of your loved one’s life as you both knew it being so drastically changed forever? Is there a way to look in their eyes or deal with them on a regular basis and not have all of the painful memories come rushing into your heart and mind like a flood? And if it is not, can such emotions be separated from the forgiveness that you’ve given to the friend for what happened? Is such a thing even possible?
To be honest with you, when it comes to someone—anyone—hurting my children, be it an accident or not, I don’t have the answers to this. I know that it would look good to say that I do, but really: I just don’t.
I would love to give some profound, great-sounding bullet-pointed list of things one can do when faced with this type of situation, but I can’t. I cannot even begin to fathom what Tameka, Usher, and Kile’s Dad are going through right now. And every day I pray that I never ever be in a place where I have to experience that or have to know the answers. I am sure that every parent out there who has never had anything like this happen before feels the same.
I mean true, we could all sit back and say the things that we would do or what courses of action we would or wouldn’t take towards the friend, but we all know that it is easy to simply say it—it’s an entirely different thing when we are forced to wear the shoes we boast that we could fit.
Parent to parent, my deepest thoughts and prayers are with Tameka Foster and Usher, Kile Glover’s Father Ryan and the rest of the entire family, as they have a very long and hard road ahead of them. I pray for them that they can find the strength to forgive for this tragic accident. And I especially pray for the friend, that if indeed responsible, in time may find it within to forgive themselves as well.
photo credit: essence.comm